Every ones in a while I organize that I can pretend for a few days. This is my way of dealing with my wannabe/biid feelings. Usually I go somewhere away from home to have no fear of being recognized. So I would rent a hotel room for a few days just over the border. Or go to a monastery for a long weekend, and also I have been thinking about renting a small holiday home. That last option did not happen yet. For now, I am at home, since I have the house for myself. It did mean I had to do groceries for the coming days, because I can not go outside here with my wheelchair. 

Usually I have to prepare a couple of things. But being at home I do not have to travel with my wheelchair which makes things less complicated. My wheelchair and a couple of pretending materials, are normally stored upstairs in the attic, where it does not bother my girlfriend. So what do I use for pretending to have my legs amputated above (DAK), well really through, my knees? Through my knees, because that is how it looks when I fold my legs. First of all I will use some neoprene  shin protectors, to protect my shins for the seat of my wheelchair, other seats, steps of the stairs or the floor. Then I have a bike saddle with a saddle pad over the bottom, this, together with one of those U shaped travel pillows goes in between my feet, when they are folded under my bum. The reason I use those is to be able to sit on the pillow, on the saddle, instead of on my feet. All to be able to make things as comfortable as possible. Finally I have some under pants, with the legs sewn shut to hold everything together. Over this some over pants, as large as possible and also with the legs sown shut, to make everything look even more realistic. With this pants it is very important that they are not to tight and have a very high waist. Best ones are the pants especially for pregnancy. This way everything stays rather comfortable even when seated for a very long time.

Now about six hours without legs is the maximum to stay rather comfortable. It is a matter of trying out. Best is probably about four hours, then half to one hour rest. So three or four sessions a day. For this reason it is important to have some good privacy and accommodation. When pretending the relief is immediately, however it will not stay when I stop. Usually it takes 2 days of "full time" pretending before the Biid feelings really become less, even when the pretending stops. If I carry on another 2 or 3 days, experience learns that the Biid feelings are bearable for about a month, while slowly building again.

It does work for me...

Yours,

Jan