A month or so ago, I discovered my girlfriend (currently 37) has BIID, and has since she was 8 or 9. I guess shes been dropping hints for the entire time weve been dating.

Weve been dating for three years, and she started going barefoot because of what I assumed was my foot fetish. A couple of months later, she donated all of her shoes and hasnt worn shoes at all for over two-and-a-half years. It turns out that she was known among her friends and family for going barefoot whenever possible: at school, work, wherever she could slip her shoes off and walk around. Now she goes barefoot everywhere, in every situation (we live in the US South, so the winters are relatively mild).

After awhile, it became apparent that she was very good at doing things with her toes. Shed spent a lot of time practicing how to do things like writing, eating, opening doors, using her phone, etc. She told me she used to get in trouble with her parents for playing with her toes when she was a kid.

A couple of years ago, I made a suggestion that we bind her arms and go out of town so she could pretend to be an amputee and eat at a nice restaurant with her feet. We never actually got around to doing it, and neither of us brought it up. I also have an amputee fetish, but I never admitted it to her. It seems very unusual (and kind of great) that the two of us are so compatible with our obsessions.

We usually travel over a weekend when neither of us has our kids, but since the pandemic started, our travel has been curtailed for the most part. A month ago, I decided to surprise her, ordered some Ace bandages, and showed up at her house with them, telling her that we are going to bind her arms, and she was to use her toes to do everything for the entire weekend. After she got dressed, I stood behind her as we looked in the mirror, and she was obviously shaking.

I got the feeling that something about the experience touched something very deep in her, so I asked her.

She told me that in high school she used to put her arms inside her hoodie and walk around at least once or twice a week. When she could shed do it with her backpack on, until one day she was asked by a peer what she was doing, which embarrassed her. At home, shed bend her arms and put them into her sleeves and spend as much time as possible pretending to be a double arm amputee. She stopped doing it when she was older, because she thought it was wrong, but shed often bend her arms behind her back so it appeared her arms ended at the elbow, or put her hands in her back pockets when shed do things with her toes.

Weve spent a couple of weekends in nearby towns that are far enough away that there is little possibility of running into anyone we know. Shes really enjoyed going into antique stores and grocery stores with her arms bound up.

Ive taken some pictures of her, and photoshopped her without her lower arms. She thinks they make her elegant and pretty. She has very definite ideas of where they should end: exactly through the elbow. Nothing higher or lower. She enjoys looking at her elbows when her sleeves are rolled up.

As its become clear that this is something she has spent most of her life thinking about, weve discussed the possibility of traveling out of the country so she can have amputations for her CRPS (which she doesnt have). Ive contacted a few medical tourism companies, but they want medical records.

I think its ridiculous that there are so many body-altering surgeries available to people (plastic surgery, sexual reassignmentI totally support anyone who makes these decisions), but elective amputation for BIID is illegal in most countries.

I guess Im posting this because I just need to tell someone, and also Im looking for any advice that might help her achieve what shes looking for.