I'm a quad N2B from back as far as I can remember. My earliest memories from childhood are plagued with alien feelings towards limbs I've grown to despise, and which I attack all too often. Back in the day, I experimented with methods for larger amputations and managed to divest my body of most digits.
A few years ago I got married to a man I trusted. I learned the hard way that he was more enamoured with parts of me than me. He ran off with my best friend last year, so that's that. Being married actually threw a big old damper on my former plans for fulfillment. Not wanting to traumatize our families, I tried very hard to be a "good girl" and suppress my need to be other than what I exist with now. Doing so made me deeply depressed and actively suicidal.
Since Dumbass and Lolita left, I have returned to my former plans. I moved across the country to an area that I love, but where I know no one, and I have cut off contact with almost everyone I do know. I have been experimenting with escharotics to effect necrosis with varying degrees of pain and lasting damage. Currently, I've made up a fresh batch of bloodroot tincture, as well as a bloodroot and zinc oxide drawing salve that I've been using to create lesions that I'm watching to see how deep they get before they start to heal. My present plan is to use one or more of the eschatotics ointments, depending on which one causes the most damage, most quickly, with the least amount of pain, to effect necrosis before presenting myself for "treatment." I have a date set. Now, I'm just waiting. But damned if I'm going to be 50 and still dealing with this ****. I'm done. I want this to be over.
-- Edited by DixieLeigh on Thursday 31st of March 2016 02:00:30 AM
